The Three Most Important Words in Marriage
Surprise! The three most important words in marriage are NOT “I love you.” Those are the third most important words in a marriage. The second most important words in marriage are in my other blog post (The second most important words in marriage – Tell me more.)
The number one spot is held by, wait for it, drum roll please. . . . “You’re probably right.”
“Huh?” you say. You read correctly. Let me tell you why.
When you respond to your mate with “You’re probably right,” the following things happen:
1. You align together. You are siding with them. Instantly, you are on the same teams. You are a couple working together and this is good.
2. You see from the other’s perspective. When you can view things from the paradigm that your spouse holds, you can gain understanding.
3. You validate your spouse’s thinking. When you understand your partner better, you can value their thinking. You stop assuming they are crazy or evil for thinking the way they do.
4. You value your spouse more. He or she will feel that you respect and value them rather than dismiss and devalue his or her opinions and perspective.
5. You imply that they MAY not be right. You hold out the possibility that another point of view may be more helpful, but don’t make the case so strongly that your spouse becomes defensive. You leave the door open for further discussion
Of course, you wouldn’t state the phrase sounding like a martyr, right? Think of ways to truthfully be able to say, “You’re probably right.” Next time you are in a tricky discussion with your husband or wife, try responding with “You’re probably right,” and see how the feeling changes between you both.